PLAB Group

Glossary

At PLAB, we tend to through around some of these terms as though they're common knowledge! We hope that after reading this page, they will be.

Common Terms and Definitions

Consentual Non-Monogamy

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 15 October 2003

The practice of (sexual, usually) non-monogamy entered into with the full consent of one's primary partner. One of more partners choose to have sex (to some degree) with people outside the partnership. Generally, the primary partner retains some "veto power" over the nature and frequency of the non-monogamous activities.

Forms of consentual non-monogamy include:

Swinging
Polyamory
"Open Relationships" – though this form has some subtle differences
Whatever the hell we're calling whatever it is that our quartet (the PLAB Group) does this week.

cf: Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, 1998, Greenery Press.

Cross Partner

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 16 October 2003

The opposite-sexed member of the other couple. Examples: B and G, C and J.

cf: Adapted from anthropological term "Cross-Cousin", Biological/Botanical/Genetics term "Cross Partner.

Family of Choice

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 14 October 2003

A group of individuals chosen by a person to substitute for or supplement his/her family of origin.

Source: Hedgepeth and Helmich, Teaching About Sexuality and HIV, 1996, NYU Press, p. xvii.).

cf: Family of Origin - antonym

Family of Origin

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 14 October 2003

The family into which an individual was born or adopted (either legally or informally).

Source: Hedgepeth and Helmich, Teaching About Sexuality and HIV, 1996, NYU Press, p. xvii.).

cf: Family of Choice - antonym

Group Marriage

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 16 October 2003

Kinship structure implying that all members are married (or joined) to each other. PLAB is not, strictly speaking, a group marriage. In less formal usage, is it used to replace/supplement "polygyny" (2+ wives, 1 husband) and "polyandry" (2+ husbands, 1 wife). The term is a less politically charged, loose synonym with "polygamy".

cf: Anthropology, Kinship Structures, Polygyny, Polyandry.

Freak Out (alt. "freak-out")

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 23 March 2003

Originally, a panic attack-like episode brought on by a bad recreational drug experience. In PLAB context, a "freak out" is when one (or more) of us reacts is an apparently insane way about an emotional or temporal stressor, such as jealousy, being over-scheduled, etc. Freak-out's are a regular feature of PLAB family life, and seem to have their own cycles and rhythms. A benefit of having four of us together is that three of us are usually available to tend to and do triage for the person in freak out mode.

Freak-out's are embarrassing in hindsight, and are usually indicators (in Freudian repression theory, at least) that there is emotional disturbance that either exists subliminally or is being actively repressed/denied by the actor. Freak-out's precipitate big discussions of big issues, and can be catalysts for immediate and substantial change.

Source: 1960s USian Counterculture slang (unverified), PLAB slang (September 2003)

Kinsey Scale

Answered By: B

B's Version: – 16 October 2003

This scale was developed by Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his associates in the late '40s and early '50s. These results were supported in studies conducted by Masters and Johnson and other sex researchers, though some more recent studies have reported lower rates nationally, with higher rates in urban areas. These studies collectively indicate there is a broad spectrum of sexual orientations - not just heterosexual and homosexual. Instead of looking a sexual orientation as an either-or condition, Kinsey developed a seven point continuum based on the degree of sexual responsiveness people have to the members of the same and other sex.

0 - exclusively heterosexual

1 - predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homoexual

2 - predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3 - equally heterosexual and homosexual

4 - predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5 - predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual

6 - exclusively homosexual

Source: National Consortium of Directors of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Resources in Higher Education http://www.lgbtcampus.org/resources/training/kinsey_scale.html

NRE

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 23 March 2003

New Relationship Energy – the high one gets from starting a new relationship. This euphoric feeling is common in all sections of life, and is not limited to the poly/swing communities. The danger of NRE lies in confusing the love for the feeling, or for feeling good, with the quality of the new relationship. It is an easy feeling to love, after all, and people may neglect other important (ongoing) relationships toe get more of it.

Source: Common usage in poly circles...brought to PLAB by Jack.

Swinger/Swinging

Answered By: G

G's Version: – 23 March 2004

Swingers are people who engage in swinging.

Swinging (syn. "Recreational Sex", "swapping", "The Lifestyle" (1) is a form of consensual non-monogamy characterized (in general) by sexual partner exchange, group play conducted over short periods. In general, swinging doesn't lead to long term "group marriage" family structures, though friendships are often on-going and play dates may occur with regularity over long periods of time.

Origins -- Modern American

The rumored modern American origins of swinging are among Air Force personnel in California during the 1950s. At remote desert test bases, swinging acted to reinforce group cohesion, as one a recreational activity, and to reinforce social support networks in the event that one the pilots was killed, injured, or otherwise unable to provide for his family.

Characteristics and Stereotypes about Swingers

Less emotional involvement
Casual relationships/friendships
No expectation of commitment (except between original partners)-- That is, the pairings (or singlings) that started off the night with go home together. The exchange or supergrouping is temporary
WASPy couples with bi females and straight males

Source: Personal experience

cf: Polyamory - partial antonym

Addenda

Note 1 (by G): "The Lifestyle" is also used by BDSMers, and some GLBT folk. Use with caution.

top of page