PLAB Group

FAQ

These are some of the most frequently asked questions about the PLAB-Group.

How did we meet?
Who sleeps with whom? How do we decide which bed to end up in?
Kids and families of choice...are you having any?
Budgeting
Do you live together?
Coming out
Did you ever consider just switching partners?
Do we think we're better/more evolved/advanced than traditional monogamous couples?
Holidays and/or family of origin issues
Are we all going to keep our names?
What does PLAB stand for?
What do you guys look like?
Are you still swingers?
How do you know you're right for each other?

Are you still swingers?

Answered By: Gregg

Gregg's Version: – 23 March 2004

Since the four of us met each other through a

swinger website, people wonder if we still play out. The four of us are fluid bonded (i.e., tested STD free for HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlymidia), and no longer use barriers. Playing with other people potentially compromises this.

For the first six months, this whole debate was a non-issue. We are so caught up in NRE that we could barely sleep and eat, much less want to fuck other people (other than the four of us, that is). We had talks about our status, and decided that in theory we all still wanted to play out, but had little actual desire to do so. We hadn't met anyone new, and we having all our needs met a home, thank you very much.

We decided on some rules:

For any play that could be potentially unsafe (basically anything more than kissing (1) or other "above the equator" activities) should be cleared in advance with all four of us.
There will be a discussion with the new partners about STD testing. If anyone hasn't been tested in the last year, or has high risk encounters (which is us is more along the "drunk/don't remember" lines than the "bisexual" lines), or is a needle drug user, or has had an STD in the last 5 years, then there will be no dangerous play. There can be voyeurism / exhibitionism / talk, for example.
Safer Sex is absolutly required, including dental dams, but not necessarily gloves, unless the play partner is menstuating, or there will be manual anal penetration, fisting, etc. If a play partner won't use oral barriers, no oral play with happen.
We prefer (require) to all meet the potential play partner first.

We've finally put some of these rules to the test, and so far, they seem to be working fine. No one has a had a freak out. We all feel less desire to play out (and have less time), but playtime is still important to us, and still a healthy and powerful source of pleasure, self-esteem, and positive body image.

Addenda

Note 1 (by G): Yes, we know that herpes simplex and other less stigmatized diseases,influenza can be transmitted by kissing. We're not saints, and neither are you, most likely.

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