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PLAB Group
FAQ
These are some of the most frequently asked questions about the PLAB-Group.
- How did we meet?
- Who sleeps with whom? How do we decide which bed to end up in?
- Kids and families of choice...are you having any?
- Budgeting
- Do you live together?
- Coming out
- Did you ever consider just switching partners?
- Do we think we're better/more evolved/advanced than traditional monogamous couples?
- Holidays and/or family of origin issues
- Are we all going to keep our names?
- What does PLAB stand for?
- What do you guys look like?
- Are you still swingers?
- How do you know you're right for each other?
Who sleeps with whom? How do we decide which bed to end up in?
Answered By: B
B's Version: – 28 October 2003
In short, it varies. Since the two couples that make up PLAB live apart at this point, this issue is dealt with once or twice a week at most. Many combinations of sleeping arrangements exist. Sometimes the whole family begins sharing the same bed, with various members sorting off to various different beds later in the evening. There are times when one or both of the pairs wants to sleep with their partner. PLAB group members may have nights when they want to sleep with their cross partner. Sometimes three individuals will share one bed while the fourth takes another. One scenario presents C & J sleeping together, which can that mean B & G would sleep together. If G & C sleep with one another, B & J would end up in the same bed. Physical bed choices are decided more or less by preference of firmness of sleeping surface, size of the bed and preferred bed partner at that time. Coincidentally, B & C prefer the same level of mattress softness, and G & J also share a preference for a harder mattress, but this particular configuration of individuals has not yet come up in our experience. (1) Is this beginning to sound like an IQ test?
Recently our family of choice went off on a weekend get-away. We stayed at a cabin which had a loft style bedroom upstairs with a queen sized platform bed (low to the ground) and a couple of futon mattresses. This worked well for us as a group. We folded out the futon mattresses next to the queen-sized bed and were all able to sleep near each other without having to share one bed or to divide off to separate rooms. Everyone could have a bit of space to themselves, and we could move about and switch sleeping partners as desired. It was very comfortable.
Additionally, PLAB has been thinking about the needs we might have for sleeping arrangements when we buy our communal property. We have discussed that each of us needs a private space, such as an office/bedroom, and that it would be nice to have a room with modular bed-type furniture, where things can be easily moved around on the spur of the moment to accommodate as many people as wish to sleep together at any given time.
Addenda
Note 1 (by G): J and I do not sleep together. One of us falls asleep really fast, and snores, and the other can barely tolerate sleeping with anyone, and is usually the "1" in the "3"-"1" sleeping arrangement. Even at home, sleep-fickler boy usually sleeps apart from his mate. These practical concerns force to sleep apart much more than whatever lingering "boys don't sleep together" latent semi-homophobia we have. The right bed and earplugs could probably clear this right up.
